why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Boobs are out for the taking
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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