If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
