She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
