You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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