dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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