OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
