You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I want her autograph on my taint
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
