is your mom at the bar?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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