butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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