And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
