Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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