And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
