i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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