I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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