Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
