Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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