I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
