He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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