I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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