Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
