Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
