Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
