My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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