i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
