I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
