Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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