my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize