a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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