Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
