I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
where am i from again
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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