covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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