yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dignity is for republicans.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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