I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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