You just made me feel so damn special
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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