I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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