508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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