This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
