All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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