I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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