If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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