Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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