the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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