how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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