does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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