Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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