My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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