I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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