you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
