I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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