yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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