Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
