i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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