Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
