No more Irish car bombs ever.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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