Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize