he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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