i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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