Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
