I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
