why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
