Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
