is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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