Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
