this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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